A521.4.3.RB - Subtleties of Communication and Hidden Messages
In order to interact with others, one must use body language, verbal cues, or hidden messages to effectively communicate. I have found myself in situations where I become uncomfortable with individuals in my personal space, my facial expressions give away what I am thinking, or I will tell a story with a hidden message (Mckay, Davis, & Fanning, 1995).
I recently found myself in a situation where an individual was in my intimate space, but I could not control my distance from the person. I was unintentionally backed into a wall, this left very little distance between myself and the individual. Mckay, Davis, & Fanning (1995) described proxemics as the study of what you communicate by the way you use space. In the situation, the individual was in my intimate space and was unaware of how uncomfortable I was becoming. Thoughts began to race through my mind on how I can move myself farther away and create the comfortable distance, this person and I did not have a relationship that allowed them in my intimate space. Finally, I had to use a chair in an indirect gesture to place space between myself and the individual, this relieved the anxiety and stress of an unfamiliar person in my intimate space. In this situation, the individual and I come from different cultures, which is why the individual was unaware their close proximity was making me uncomfortable.
Blair (1995) stated that facial expressions of emotion are important signals that elicit and reinforce particular behaviors from observers. I have been told many times that my facial expressions give away what I am thinking; this is a struggle when I must maintain a neutral expression when discussing topics of disagreement with others. Forgas (1985) stated that verbal communication is an efficient way to communicate one’s intentions to another person. Cacioppo, Petty, Loasch & Kim (1986) stated that in social psychology literature it is a well-known fact that the experience and even verbal communication of emotions is often accompanied by the facial expression of these emotions. In order to overcome the struggling of revealing what I am thinking through facial expressions, I must concentrate very hard when speaking with others to maintain a neutral expression and stay aware of my body language. Plessis (2008) explained that it is essential to take charge of your body language through continual practice. This can be done by understanding components of body language, evaluate ones performance of their body language, and practice impactful, consistent but natural execution of the behavior.
McKay, Davis, & Fanning (1995) stated that hidden agendas are a death of intimacy with others but are a great defense mechanism if one does not feel good about their self. I often find myself coming off a tough and can handle my own because I do not want to be viewed as weak, fragile, or helpless. I do not consciously act in a tough mentality but from the reading of the text of McKay, Davis, & Fanning, I must make conscience effort to change my thinking.
In order to improve self-awareness of personal space, facial expressions, and body language, and hidden messages one must consciously think about their behaviors when interacting with others. McKay, Davis, & Fanning (1995) stated that you can’t not communicate with others; without saying a word, you reveal your feelings and attitudes.
References
Blair, R.J.R. (1995). A cognitive developmental approach to mortality: Investigating the psychopath. Cognition, 57, 1-29.
Cacioppo, J. T., Petty, R. E., Losch, M. E., & Kim, H. S. (1986). Electro-myographic activity over facial muscle regions can differentiate the valence and intensity of affective reactions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, 260–268
Forgas, J. P. (1985). Interpersonal behaviour: The psychology of social interaction. Sydney: Pergamon Press
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (1995). Messages The communication Skills Book. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
Plessis, A. d., C.A.(S.A.), & Plessis, H. d. (2008). A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE CALLED KINESICS. Accountancy SA, , 23. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/docview/215224693?accountid=27203
